i had a nap today, with the conclusion of a fucked up dream. i knew i was dreaming, yet i was fooling myself and saying no, this is real life. a joint broke outside, and everything was lost, an asian walked past and sniffed me. i walked inside, and i had 2 cats, exactly the same. 2 people appeared in the kitchen, talking to me. one appeared in the living room, writing some horrible death mass killing.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

i have obsessions, would you like to hear them?

So I fill my gut with dark red wine until my brain shuts off and my eyes go blind. You won't see me there in that thick black air. I'll finally make something disappear because I've been practicing disappearing and I think that I've got it down. But now there is no sun, just a cellar nowhere is sky, it's just that black, black dirt expanding outwards, just echoes for answers, not that it matters if it's back or it's forwards.

Unhappy lovers with baskets of flowers, use them as markers, the place where your bed once stood. A time when it still felt good but you'll get that feeling back you just need some time to drink
and so I'll fill my gut with that blood red wine, until my insides swim and my veins unwind. I'll be lying there in that hot white air once that something is gone it might never reappear.

the beautiful jane birkin :)

thursday, period 1 and 2 i shall do my english assignemnt, so it can be ready to get handed in on TUESDAY.

friday ill listen to peoples legal speeches and get an idea of what the fuck i should do, then be ready to write a speech out for miss on the last week of school.

saturday or sunday i should REALLY start writing questions for cafs, so i could print them, and hand them out before holidays start.

i dont understand why every guy sees me as the type they can fuck and leave? no boy has stuck around if or when i reject them. actually i do understand why, because they are guys.. but the part i dont get is that i dont even have a nice body. im short and fat and have ugly features plus an ugly face. i dont mind about this though but guys are all the fucking same. no matter what one special boi says, his lieing, even when he says his telling the truth. i bet every guy in a relationship right now says his in love so she wont feel like a slut when he fucks her everytime they see eachother, as long as he luvs her 4 eva of course, after all, their love will last for eternity. right? hahahahha!
conclusion: humans are animals but atleast animals dont speak so much crap! FTW!